WHAT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ABOUT YOUR EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE PARTNER
I was at a conference this weekend where it was once again reiterated to me how impactful our attachment in our early relationships is on our current relationships. When we talk about “attachment,” we usually mean how safe and connected we feel to our partner (or friend, or parent, etc.). What the research has shown over the years is that our attachment style is mostly dictated by the relationship we had with our parents when we were little, but it can change as we have new relationship experiences throughout our lives. There are a few main attachment styles that I want to unpack today, because I think they’re often misunderstood and this misunderstanding can cause major problems in relationships.
When you meet someone with a secure attachment style, they probably grew up with a steady flow of comfort, validation, empathy, and love from their parents and family. These are the people who aren’t too anxious, but aren’t scared of relationships either.
TO THE GUY ASKING FOR MARRIAGE ADVICE
Aaron & April Jacob
So, you are getting married in a few months and you want marriage advice, eh?
You are already in a really good place if you are going into marriage with that kind of maturity and desire to know what to do to make it work – and not just work, but actually have your marriage be wonderful and meaningful. Way to go.
Marriage is a beautiful journey. Remember that. It’ s a journey, not some perfect destination you arrive at overnight. It’s the grandest of adventures, the most beautiful experience, and your perfect opportunity to become a better person with the one that you love by your side.
CHRONIC STONEWALLING IMPRISONS A RELATIONSHIP
Have you ever watched a child try to get attention from their mom or dad?
“Pay attention to me.”
“Look at me.”
“Mommy, daddy, watch me.”
But what happens if the child’s attachment figure is unavailable and unresponsive? The child will experience distress.
It doesn’t matter if you are 5 months old or 45 years. There are still two basic responses to an unavailable attachment figure.
7 ENHANCING LOVEMAKING CONVERSATIONS FOR COUPLES
Lovemaking in a monogamous relationship is said to be heart-pounding, breath-taking, and anxiety-freeing. If that’s true, then how come a committed relationship is when many of us settle for the same sexual positions?
Far too often, spouses become “too important” for experimenting in the bedroom. This takes the mysterious element of sex between two people and puts our wild erotic nature into a jar that will never be opened again.
Sometimes partners stop putting in the effort to seduce their partner. They assume the ring on the finger means they don’t have to try; that a wedding band means you’ll be turned on by me, no matter what I do or how I look. You’ll love me till death do us part.