No matter how many stories you hear about couples breaking up over infidelity or families being disruptedbecause of an indiscretion, people still cheat, and in alarming numbers. Time and time again, folks get caught and someone gets hurt. Yet, it happens again and again, as people seem to think, “I’m not going to get caught.”
Maybe if we understood why people cheat, we can work harder at preventing it or at least understanding it when it happens. While some folks will forgive, for a lot of couples, it’s a deal breaker. Here are some reasons that people cheat.
- Repeat offenders often don’t see it as bad. They have convinced themselves that they are not bad people. It’s calledcognitive dissonance, which is basically the ability to separate the act of infidelity and trivialize it.
- Ask Eric Benet and Tiger Woods about what caused their unions to break up (Benet, you remember, was married toHalle Berry). Both ended up at a special clinic as their problem was declared an addiction. People who are addicted to physical relations allow their addiction to control their lives, just as someone on drugs or with an alcohol problem.
- This is just common sense… they are not getting it at home. For whatever reason, if a couple isn’t practicing the dance with no pants with each other, one or both of them is going to step outside the marriage or commitment to get it.
- Some men want just a physical relationship. Their emotional needs are met at home, but they still want something that is a sort of release and has no strings attached, so to speak. When they say, “She doesn’t mean anything to me,” he’s telling the truth.
- They have a risk taker personality. If he’s gambler or someone who often is willing to take risks with life in general, he is apt to do the same with his personal life.
- Wow. In a study conducted by a site called AshleyMadison.com, it was revealed that people seek outsiderelationsbecause ofdisappointment from their current situation. In fact, the site, which helps people find other people to cheat on with, said that its biggest spike is the day after Valentine’s Day, especially for women!
- Stress. Men especially, says one study, seek outside physical relationships to relieve the stress of everyday life. Let’s face it, most mistresses or one-night stands ask for much other than a physical meeting, especially in the early stages.
- This one is a bit out there, and some men may actually use it as an excuse. But a couple of studies put the blame on a chemical inside a guy’s brain that makes him more susceptible to being a cheater. Just in certain men now… there’s a chemical called vasopressin, and apparently if it’s present in a man at a high rate, he is apt to have problems being faithful.
- Here’s one aimed at the ladies. Women who cheat may have learned it from their parents, especially their dad! I’m going to leave you all to think about that one…
- They think they can control it. This is for people who tend to be leaders in industry or people at the top of their game. They have a beautiful wife at home, kids, the American dream, but they risk it all for a liaison with a chick at a hotel bar. How many times have you heard this story? Think of all the athletes, celebrities and politicians that got caught with their pants down and you have wondered why they risked it all.
- It’s a “crime” of opportunity. The setting is the wife is out of town, he’s out with the boys and here comes this vixen giving him the eye. Who’s going to tell?
It’s not a perfect world and people certainly are not perfect. Even if you married the man of your dreams, there is always the chance, large or small, that there will be an indiscretion, and that could be by you as well the man!